Some states needed to do some spring cleaning. It’s too late now. It’s summer. No one does any summer cleaning. It’s too damn hot. If you want someone to do your cleaning in the summer, hire someone who can deal with the heat, like someone’s who’s constantly on fire.

Virginia still has a bunch of dumb laws on the books, according a story by the Virginian Pilot.

One states that fortunetelling is illegal unless it’s performed in a church because no one lies in a church. Not to God.

Another one states that unmarried couples may not have sexual relations with each other. That means Gary Hart is a war criminal.

Finally no one may hunt animals on Sunday unless it’s a raccoon. So if a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex jumps forward in time, lands in your living room and threatens to eat your family and you somehow kill it before it kills you, you will be going to prison forever.