Put in a Difficult Position
Ain’t love grand? Not in the eyes of the law. To the law, it’s a filthy, disgusting, degrading and repulsive act that reduces human beings to the lowest form of human life, that and murder.
Ancient laws have long forbidden the forbidden acts of the bedroom, but one law seems to have floated around in different forms, the pro-missionary position law, which allegedly states that couples can only have sex in the missionary position.
Thanks to the Internet and other rumor mongering devices, the law seems to have taken on a life of it’s own. For instance, one site claims the law is on the books in Florida and another book says it’s actually on the books in Washington D.C. In fact, both of them are wrong.
It actually goes much farther than that in Florida. If you are having sex in Florida with someone to whom you are not married, regardless of whether your doing the missionary position, the flying lotus or the sticking taffy pull, it’s illegal, according to section 798.02 listed under “Lewd and lascivious behavior.”
The law also states that such behavior is worthy of a second degree misdemeanor offense, which can be punishable by a prison term up to 60 days. It doesn’t say anything, however, about having to buy someone breakfast the next morning.